You had gone away for college, and I was still home. It was a school night for Jeff, but we were out and about. We hopped in the lizard and headed to town to buy beverages. At that time, I didn't really drink, so I opted for some Zima, and you grabbed a 6 of whatever lite beer the small town convenient store proffered.
We went cruising...my first exposure to Radiohead. I don't remember if it was OK Computer, or The Bends, or both...but I was mezmorized. And, for the first time, I felt like we were in this thing together...like I wasn't alone. Drive drive drive. Through town and to the next. Bottle caps tossed quickly and without apology...out the window. We headed to the cornfields...the spot where only 2 years earlier I had learned to drive stick shift. Where the high school kids would party after football games and we all knew to flash our lights twice as we approached the spot...as to not scare off all our under-aged drinking friends.
This night it had been raining for days, and the fields were muddy. We sloshed along in your 4 cylinder truck...slowly...happily. Until, the wheels continued to spin, but we sat still. Stuck...and had to call our little brother, awaken from his slumber to tug us out with his Jeep. To tug us out of that moment...when we drove...when we listened. When nothing mattered but the music and the open air. To our parents' divorce. To the fact that no success in our college courses could ever compensate for the fact that we would never learn. Not really. Not what mattered. It was only a moment. But it's what I keep. I've always loved my brothers...but this was one of the first times I knew that you understood what it was like to come from our family...what it meant to always try but never quite get it. From that day forward, I listen. I keep listening.
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