Saturday, August 6, 2011

Half Full

I'm just going to come right out and say it...I FAILED the challenge.  Well, sort of.  I guess it depends on how you view success.  Did I make it the full 365 days without buying something new?  No. An unequivocal, resounding fucking NOOOOOOO!  Actually, a big fat failure of a NO.  But, I did make it 6 months.  Six months and 3 days to be exact.  I'm not sure what it was...I was on vacation spending time with my family for the 4th of July weekend.  And I just decided to buy something...a commemorative t-shirt and a pair of cheap flip-flops.  It wasn't really even anything super exciting or fantastic.  I didn't even go out with a bang.

A few days later, and here I am...free of the challenge, I guess, because I already failed.  And yet...I did learn something.  I learned quite a few things about myself and about the motivating factors in my life.  I went shopping today.  I set off on my lunch break, the same as I had so many times before with money to burn.  I told myself it didn't matter...that this was my reward for making it through 6 months of deprivation.  (For a shopaholic like myself, yes, this has felt like deprivation at times.)  When I got there, though, my outlook had changed.  I found myself really analyzing each piece of clothing, trying to determine if it was really worth the money.  I told myself...if I don't absolutely LOVE this, I'm not getting it.  This mindset really worked, too.  I walked out of the store with 2 items, spending less than my budget and leaving several things behind that I would have liked to own. 

So now the question becomes, where do I go from here?  I'm not 100% sure, but I do know this...when I look back at the first 1/2 of this year, I'm going to view it as a success.  Sure, I didn't make it the whole way, but it wasn't for naught.  I learned so much...about self control...about intensity and focus...about loving what you have and more and more about myself each day.  To me, the glass is 1/2 full.

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